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Inside Out Personal Edition “You can't change the direction of the wind. . . but you can adjust your sails!” ---Jimmy Dean Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz
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| This Month's Feature Teleclasses How to Know if He/She is"The One" Are you thinking of making a major commitment to someone in your life? Are you single and not wanting to make the same mistakes you’ve made before? Join this class and learn about things that should be warning signs and how to know if you are with a person who is good for you. Goal Setting & Attainment Come on now; are you serious this time about keeping those New Year's resolutions? How are you doing so far? Let's really get serious about setting those goals for next year. Neural reconditioning is a step that is rarely discussed but is critical to your long term success. This teleclass will give you a time-proven system for setting and actually attaining those New Year's resolutions. No More Excuses. |
A Message from Kim Can you believe it’s February already? Where has the time gone? Anyway, February is the month for love and lovers. That’s a wonderful thing if you are in a committed, satisfying relationship with someone but have you ever experienced Valentine’s Day alone? Chances are, you may have and I’m here to say it’s not a lot of fun. Even when you are very happy being alone and between relationships, the commercial hype around this day makes it difficult for anyone who isn’t in a relationship. You hear “Buy the one you love . . . Bring the one you love . . . Show the one you love you care.” And on and on. Well tonight, I’m having a teleclass on how to know if he or she is “The One.” And if you are between relationships, you can think about why your former relationships didn’t work out and you can begin to plan for a better next one. When it comes to relationships, I believe there are four stages one must go through. First is the “Alone Stage.” This is where you realize it’s better to be alone than with the “wrong” person. This is the stage where you learn to be all right with being alone. Alone doesn’t automatically equate with lonely. You do some introspection, correct some inconsistencies and prepare for meeting the next teacher (your next relationship) in your life. The next stage is the “Getting Together Stage." This has to do with how and where you meet potential partners. This is the stage where online dating services are making their fortune. The next stage is the “Compatibility Stage” This is the getting to know you phase where you are determining if a committed relationship is the next step to take with this person. Do you have enough in common to actually make this relationship last? And finally, the stage not too many people discuss is the “Maintenance Stage." I believe that the “Getting Together” and the “Compatibility Stages" are relatively easy. However, that’s where many people stop. They figure they’ve “won” the prize and now they can relax. Wrong! The “Maintenance Stage" is actually the most important. It’s what you do to keep the relationship exciting, fresh and loving. How do you hold your partner’s attention? How do you continue to make your partner know he or she is special? Relationships don’t just run on autopilot. Check out our coaching packages. if you want some help with the “Maintenance Stage." What’s a satisfying relationship worth to you? How long are you willing to continue with things the way they are now? Do you believe there is a better way? The packages are unconditionally guaranteed. There is nothing to lose except possibly the disappointment of an unsatisfying relationship. Call for a 20-minute free consultation now. |
In this Issue E-Courses --Jacques Maritain Are You The One For Me?: Knowing Who’s Right & Avoiding Who’s Wrong About Kim Olver Click on the link below for a description of this amazing F - R - E - E teleclass. Offered the second Tuesday
of every month. Next Class February 14, 2006 --9:00 p.m.
How to Know if He/She is F-R-E-E Teleclass - How to Talk to Your Adolescent Goal Setting & Attainment Anger Management Foster Parenting Teleseries Six (6) hour teleseries. Click on link for more information or to purchase. Foster Parent Agencies - Please click here to order this teleseries
************************ This workshop teaches you secret strategies to assist your child to become more goal directed, responsible and cooperative. This workshop can change your life and bring peace back into your home. It will teach you how to provide for your child’s safety, without fighting and to increase the genuine loving relationship between you. You will be encouraged, enlightened, and exhorted in ways that you never thought possible. For a more detailed description of this weekend workshop and to purchase click on the link above. Don't wait, the introductory price is for a limited time only. If you are considering purchasing this workshop, but are still unsure why not join us on our f.ree teleclass, "How to Talk to Your Teen". Click here for more information. Chats
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How to Know if You He/She is “The One” It is my firm belief that if you are seeking a life partner, you need to be clear about what it is you are looking for—what is important to you. Copyright © February 2006 Kim Olver. All rights reserved ****************************** . ****************************** "We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities." --Jacques Maritain If you are looking for the perfect person to love, then I predict you will spend your life lonely. There are no perfect people out there that I have ever met but I do believe in perfect love. Perfect love happens when you have a person in your life you are willing to support through all their ups and downs and who you love just as they are without exception. You may see things that you don’t like and that may not be good for you, but you love the person anyway. Perfect love is about accepting another individual exactly as they are without attempting to mold or change them into someone you would rather they’d be. ****************************** I know that Valentine’s Day can be lonely without a special someone in your life. I spent four consecutive years alone on Valentine’s Day after my husband died and I think it was the hardest day of the year for me. At least on other holidays, you are able to be with family but not on Valentine’s Day—that day is reserved for lovers. One year, when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself and didn’t want to be, I decided to do something different to commemorate the holiday. I know that one sure way to lift a depression is to do something nice for someone else. So, I sat down and wrote thank you notes to all the people I had in my life who had helped me with my children after Dave died. There were many people—friends, relatives, coaches and teachers—who really made a difference in my life and the life of my children. I wanted them to know how very special they were and how much we appreciated all they had done. Writing those notes was like therapy for me. I knew I really wasn’t alone. I knew there was much in my life for which to be grateful. So my advice to anyone who is out there alone for Valentine’s Day is do something nice for someone else. Also, if you are feeling lonely, I scheduled a chat on 2/14/06 at 7:30 PM ET and then don’t miss our F-R-E-E Relationship Teleclass also scheduled for 2/14/06 at 9 PM ET. It’s not the same as having someone special with whom to spend the time but it is a way for you not to be alone if you don’t want to be. ******************************
Are You The One For Me?: Knowing Who’s Right & Avoiding Who’s Wrong I have to say that this was a book that had me thinking. I didn’t agree with a lot of what Dr. DeAngelis wrote but in that disagreement, I did a lot of soul searching. Since I believe that introspection is a healthy and important thing to do, I do find some merit in Dr. DeAngelis’ book. I believe that there are many people who are in relationships that aren’t working for them and perhaps never did work for them. Dr. DeAngelis has several quizzes and scales to determine if a partner is potentially good for you. Her ideas are solid in that she believes in taking time to get to know one another but I also believe that she is too categorical in her representations of people. She makes the bold statement that a relationship can’t work if both partners are not sexually attracted to one another. I believe that may be true for many couples, but I also believe there are couples who have a happy life and marriage and are not sexual with each other. Dr. DeAngelis speaks of fatal flaws and compatibility time bombs. She does say that most compatibility time bombs are not a death sentence for a person’s relationship but they do require time, energy and a great deal of work to overcome. She makes a great case for how people who have childhood trauma and injuries often act out their issues in their intimate relationships. She is good at recommending people seek professional help to resolve their issues. I agree with that. Dr. DeAngelis goes on to list six qualities to look for in a mate: commitment to personal growth, emotional openness, integrity, maturity and responsibility, high self-esteem, and a positive attitude toward life. I agree that these are wonderful qualities to find in a mate, however, I haven’t met many individuals who have all six operating simultaneously. This means that if we hold out for a person who is a “six,” we should be prepared to be alone while we wait. Overall, if you believe you may be acting out some leftover remnant of trauma from your childhood, then I believe this book could be helpful. Otherwise, I believe that individuals need to clearly define for themselves what it is they require in a relationship and not look to any “relationship expert” to define that for them. Click here to order this book ****************************** .. Q: Kim, I am in a 2½-year relationship with a woman and I really like how often and in what ways she shows me affection. Do you think it will last over time? ***************************** How would you like to take one of my teleclasses for f.ree? All you have to do is get two (2) people to subscribe to either of my eZines and send me their e-mail addresses for confirmation with the name of the teleclass you would like to attend. If you do not wish to attend one of the teleclasses, you can give your f.ree teleclass to a friend or family member. It’s that simple! Send either one or both of the following links to all your friends and family and ask them to subscribe to the eZine. For the personal edition of "Inside Out", go to The Relationship Center and for the business edition go to Coaching for Excellence and have them type their name and email address in the boxes on the right-hand side of the web page where it says, “Subscribe to Receive 'Inside Out', our Fr.ee eZine". Only two people actually have to subscribe for you to be eligible for a f.ree teleclass. Once their subscription has been confirmed you will receive an e-mail giving you the bridge line and access code for the teleclass of your choosing. A listing of teleclasses being offered can be found in both my monthly e-zine or on my classes page at either web site. There is no limit to the amount of f.ree teleclasses you can earn---you get one f.ree teleclass for every two referrals that sign up for one of my eZines. Within the next year I am planning on adding many new teleclasses on several topics including the following: . Weight Loss . Please continue to check this eZine and my website calendar for these new and exciting teleclasses. Don’t wait, take advantage of this offer and experience the new technology of teleclasses, learning and growing from home. ****************************** Relationship Improvement Tip Sheet - A fourteen (14) page document loaded with helpful tips on how to improve your relationship with the significant people in your life. FREE when you purchase one of our Coaching Packages or available by direct purchase by clicking on the title above. Click here to go to our list of coaching packages. Parenting Tip Sheet - Nineteen (19) page Tip Sheet on how to parent your child in today's world using Choice Theory Parenting. Choice Theory Parenting involves a process in which you learn to understand the inherent conflict between you and your child and learn about the five basic human needs. Understanding these basic needs, which we are all born with, will help you improve the relationship with your child and maintain that relationship through the adolescent years. There are five proven techniques that help to diffuse an angry person’s anger when implemented with genuineness. Do you live with or have regular interaction with someone who is often frustrated and angry? Then this information can help that person as well as you. Your stress will decrease and you will develop more satisfying relationships. Give it a try. There is nothing to lose. If you are not satisfied with the information presented, just send me an email and I’ll return the money you paid and you can keep the report! Twelve Steps to Help you Lose the Weight Forever - In this thirteen (13) page report you will learn skills to help lose the weight and keep it off. You will learn Choice Theory, the new psychology of personal freedom, as an explanation for why you do what you do---no matter what is behind your weight issue, this theory can provide a framework for understanding. How many times have you attempted to lose weight only to gain it and more back again? Are you tired of being on a diet? Wonder what makes this program different? Well, in the first place, it is done in the privacy of your own home at your own pace. You decide when to complete the next lesson. |
Kim Olver has an undergraduate degree in psychology, a graduate degree in counseling, is a National Certified Counselor and is a licensed professional counselor. Since 1987, Kim has extensively studied the work of Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management. She was certified in Reality Therapy in 1992 and continued her studies to become a certified instructor for the William Glasser Institute. She is an expert at empowering people to navigate the sometimes difficult course of life---teaching them how to get the most out of the circumstances life provides them. These are incredibly powerful ideas with equal application to one’s work and personal life. Kim is an expert in restoring hope, finding the positive side in life’s events and helping others do the same. If you would like to get your life back on track, get closer to important people in your life, stop feeling victimized or out of control, better manage the pain and disappointment of life or reduce depression, fear, frustration and anger so you can develop greater happiness and satisfaction in your life, then Kim can help. She will provide just the right balance of challenge and support to assist you to navigate the course you choose. |