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Relationships: Whose Problem is It?

Posted by on Dec 7, 2017 in Choice Theory, listening, love, mental health, Relationships, romance, Self-Development, Self-growth, Trust | 0 comments

Relationships: Whose Problem is It?

by Kim Olver In relationships, it is not uncommon for couples to have difficulties—your partner may do things that drive you crazy. In my work with couples, I often hear complaints about men leaving their dirty clothes right next to the hamper. I have seen women on the verge of divorce or a mental breakdown over this seemingly simple and innocent issue. Something men complain about is their wife’s inability to put gas in her car; it drives them wild! Though it seems like another simple issue, it has also placed a huge strain on many...

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Relationship ABCs

Posted by on Nov 30, 2017 in listening, love, mental health, Relationship with Self, Relationships, romance, Self-Development, Self-growth | 0 comments

Relationship ABCs

When you are in a relationship you value, it is important to subscribe to the ABCs of Relationships. Mind your P & Qs, and everything else from A to Z. A = Accepting When in a relationship, it is important to accept your partner as he or she is, instead of always trying to change him or her. If you want to embark on a self-improvement plan, start with yourself. When you don’t like something about your partner, it comes across as criticism. Unconditional love comes from accepting each other’s idiosyncrasies. B = Believe You must believe...

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How to Manage Holiday Stress

Posted by on Nov 18, 2017 in Holiday, mental health, Relationship with Self, Relationships, Self-Development, Self-growth | Comments Off on How to Manage Holiday Stress

How to Manage Holiday Stress

Are you plagued by holiday stress year after year? Do you feel as if you are a victim in all of this? Do you believe that you are the ONLY one in your household who is contributing to the success of the holiday? Let me share with you some ideas for making the holidays manageable. I used to literally make myself nuts during holiday time. I was married to a man who thought his contribution to the holiday was simply to show up, eat his fill and then watch television in the living room while I cleaned up the kitchen. I also had two sons who...

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Problem with Relationships

Posted by on Nov 7, 2017 in Anger, Divorce, Grief and Loss, guilt, listening, love, mental health, Relationships, romance, sex, stress | Comments Off on Problem with Relationships

Problem with Relationships

When couples decide they want therapy, they often come seeking help for financial, sexual, time management, or parenting issues. They have trouble agreeing on what to save and what to spend; even after finding common ground, couples can find conflict in discussing how to spend and save. Having different expectations for their sex life can lead to disagreements, inattention, and downright frustration that cause challenges in the relationship. Couples argue about how to spend their free time and with whom. Do they spend time together, apart, or...

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19 Awesome Things to Do Alone

Posted by on Oct 31, 2017 in Choosing Me Now, Holiday, mental health, Relationship with Self, Relationships, Self-growth | Comments Off on 19 Awesome Things to Do Alone

19 Awesome Things to Do Alone

Alone for Halloween?   Sometimes we’re so concerned with finding a way to fill every single minute of every day interacting with people that we forget to take a step back and give ourselves some quality “me” time. Spending time alone is a way to recharge your mental batteries and regroup — everybody needs to do it now and then! So get over your fear of missing out or your reservations about being seen somewhere solo, and embark on a mission to treat yourself to these 19 dates with yourself. Read...

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Grieving from a Choice Theory® Perspective

Posted by on Oct 25, 2017 in Choice Theory, Grief and Loss, Relationship with Self, Relationships | Comments Off on Grieving from a Choice Theory® Perspective

Grieving from a Choice Theory® Perspective

When someone we love dies, we go through a grief process that was best described by Elizabeth Kublar-Ross in her book, On Death and Dying. This process is made up of five stages—denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages can happen in any order and are not predictable . You can be experiencing the anger phase today, fall into depression tomorrow, and jump back to denial by the weekend. There is no rhyme or reason, no way to predict how long a phase will last—only what feels right for each individual...

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Starting Over

Posted by on Oct 18, 2017 in Divorce, Grief and Loss, Relationship with Self, Relationships | Comments Off on Starting Over

Starting Over

Starting over after the loss of a loved one is a monumental task that can feel overwhelming at times. Whether there has been a death, a divorce, or a separation from a friend, rebuilding your life is usually is necessary. Shock and denial are normally initial reactions after a loss, particularly if there was no warning. The vision of the future you had with your loved one is suddenly shattered; your hopes and dreams need to be rewritten. How will we cope? How can we go on? But go on we must, and we will. First, we try to regain what we have...

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While You Carry the Weight of the World, Who’s Lifting You?

Posted by on Oct 10, 2017 in Choosing Me Now, mental health, Relationship with Self, Relationships, Self-Development, Self-growth, stress | Comments Off on While You Carry the Weight of the World, Who’s Lifting You?

While You Carry the Weight of the World, Who’s Lifting You?

Is your life full of responsibility, having to pick up the slack for those around you? Do you sometimes want to run away from this life? If this describes you, there are some questions to ask yourself: Is everything I’m doing really necessary Just because you can do something doesn’t always mean you should; for some people, doing for others is a habit. Doing things for others can sometimes rob them of the lessons they would learn from doing it themselves. What are you doing for others that they can do for themselves? Could I delegate...

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Stop Defending Yourselves

Posted by on Oct 6, 2017 in mental health | Comments Off on Stop Defending Yourselves

As trained mental health professionals and clinicians, we’re supposed to understand the importance of reflection, consider our biases, be open to another’s perspective, and, perhaps most importantly, listen. But when it comes to opening up to ideas or information that challenge your worldview or how you conduct your business, on the whole, you’re doing a pretty poor job with all of the above. For instance, in an article that an Irish news source was brave enough to publish, a woman describes her experience of fighting back against...

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Guilting wife into sex is a bad idea

Posted by on Oct 3, 2017 in Choice Theory, guilt, listening, love, Relationships, romance, sex | Comments Off on Guilting wife into sex is a bad idea

Guilting wife into sex is a bad idea

This article is about how to help women feel sexual minus the guilty control. As a Choice Theory expert, I know that trying to guilt your wife into having sex will be a lose/lose/lose proposition. You will not have the enthusiastic sex partner you really crave; she will not be feeling amorous toward the person who coerced her; and your relationship will grow weaker because of it. Whenever one partner tries to get the other partner to do something he or she doesn’t want to do either through complaints, threats or guilt, the result is...

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