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Making a Marriage Work when our Interests are Completely Different (part 1)

Posted by on Jun 27, 2017 in compatibility, Divorce, Relationships | 0 comments

Making a Marriage Work when our Interests are Completely Different (part 1)

It is not uncommon to be in a relationship with someone who seems like an alien to you. Opposites often attract, it’s true, but they don’t always stay together. Perhaps you wonder how your partner could possibly think the way he or she does, and it seems you two are completely contrary with one another. Is a break up inevitable? Of course not. It is possible for opposites to stay together if your causes are greater than your consequences. Think about the reasons you want to stay together with this person. Do you love him or her? Are you...

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The Compatibility Quiz

Posted by on Jun 20, 2017 in compatibility, love, Relationships, Self-Development, Self-growth | 0 comments

The Compatibility Quiz

Who and what are you attracted to in life? There are many factors that come into play, of course. Sometimes, we are attracted to the physical. When you find someone physically attractive, you may believe you’ve fallen in love. In reality, you are likely in lust. The same is true for pheromones. Pheromones can explain a chemical attraction, but do little to sustain a long-term, committed monogamous relationship. In others words, attraction is a great start but that is not what builds relationships to long-term grown-up love. Wouldn’t it...

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Cooperatively Parenting Children through Divorce

Posted by on Jun 6, 2017 in Divorce, Grief and Loss, Parenting, Relationships | Comments Off on Cooperatively Parenting Children through Divorce

Cooperatively Parenting Children through Divorce

If you and your spouse have decided to divorce, for your children’s sake, you must cooperatively parent them through your divorce as a team. Even if it seems like one day your spouse announced to you he or she wants a divorce, you can be certain your spouse considered it for a long time. Divorce is rarely an easy snap decision, especially when kids are involved. There are three things that will help you work together for the well-being of your children and they each involve creating a healthy mindset. Whatever happened to spark this...

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Torn between Getting Divorced and Trying One More Time?

Posted by on May 31, 2017 in Divorce, Grief and Loss, Relationships, Trust | Comments Off on Torn between Getting Divorced and Trying One More Time?

Torn between Getting Divorced and Trying One More Time?

Is love a feeling or is it a choice? What if it’s a value or a behavior? It can be all of those things. Typically, when you decide you want a divorce, you are no longer “feeling” love toward or from your spouse, but love is so much more than the “feeling.” You can make the choice to love and behave in a loving way. There is no easy way to determine whether or not you have done all you can to prevent a divorce because the answer to this question is so individualized. Kyle Cease says, “No one breaks your heart, they break your...

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Helping Kids After Divorce When One Parent Stops Parenting

Posted by on May 24, 2017 in Divorce, Grief and Loss, Parenting, Relationships, Trust | Comments Off on Helping Kids After Divorce When One Parent Stops Parenting

Helping Kids After Divorce When One Parent Stops Parenting

Divorce doesn’t have to be the worst thing to happen to your kids. Yes, it is difficult for children when their parents divorce; it is also difficult for kids to live with parents who constantly fight or no longer love one another. Yet, one thing I know about children is that they are resilient. If both parents are happy, they can better attend to their children’s needs and happiness, and the story can have a happy ending. The ideal divorce is done respectfully, without malice and blame. Throughout the transition, the parents support each...

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Adultery and Forgiveness

Posted by on May 17, 2017 in Grief and Loss, Relationships, Trust | Comments Off on Adultery and Forgiveness

Adultery and Forgiveness

When your spouse has had an affair, it can be a serious trauma for you. People who have experienced this betrayal need to seriously consider whether or not the benefits of their marriage outweigh the effort involved in moving beyond the affair. If you have been the victim of an affair and want to work together to make your marriage work, I have developed a three-step process to move toward acceptance, forgiveness and trust. Both husband and wife need to agree that their relationship is most important and they are willing to do whatever it...

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Most Common Relationship Issues – and How to Fix Them

Posted by on May 5, 2017 in Relationships | Comments Off on Most Common Relationship Issues – and How to Fix Them

Most Common Relationship Issues – and How to Fix Them

The most common problem couples face are variations of two main topics. 1) Couples are forever attempting to “get” their partners to do, think and be the way they want them to be. 2) Individuals are selfishly thinking about what they want in their relationship without taking the time to understand what the other person wants and putting the needs of the relationship above their own. Of course couples don’t come into therapy or coaching understanding those underlying issues. They come seeking help for financial, sexual, time...

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Lessons from 2016

Posted by on Jan 3, 2017 in Relationship with Self, Relationships, Self-Development, Self-growth | Comments Off on Lessons from 2016

Lessons from 2016

As I reflect on 2016, I wanted to record some of the things I have learned. (Thank you Crystal Alston for the idea.) My last post was about “Relax, Reflect, Rejuvenate, Renovate, Remind.” Yesterday, I began a scheduled meditation practice for 2017. Today, I did some reflection on 2016 and future posts will talk about Rejuvenate, Renovate and Remind. I like the person I am. Taking care of myself is not selfish. It’s a gift I give to those I love. Sometimes it’s necessary to let go of relationships that no longer serve...

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Happy New Year – Relax, Reflect, Rejuvenate, Renovate, Remind

Posted by on Dec 31, 2016 in Holiday, Relationship with Self, Relationships, Self-Development, Self-growth, stress, Weight Loss | Comments Off on Happy New Year – Relax, Reflect, Rejuvenate, Renovate, Remind

Happy New Year – Relax, Reflect, Rejuvenate, Renovate, Remind

As the world prepares to flip their calendars from 2016 to 2017, how will you prepare? Many people will celebrate by partying long into the night, watching the ball drop on Times Square in NYC, or having a quiet gathering with friends. Others will spend the day like any other day, doing whatever they do in a typical day. Some will make New Year’s resolutions to improve themselves – often in the form of health, diet and exercise. Some people will vow to find love, improve their relationships, save more money . . . whatever they...

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Happy Holidays??

Posted by on Dec 23, 2016 in Choice Theory, Holiday, Relationship with Self, Relationships, Relationships - Home, Self-growth, stress | Comments Off on Happy Holidays??

Happy Holidays??

The holidays can be a beautiful or a stressful time and sometimes, it can be both. I was talking with my daughter-in-law about all the stress she was experiencing because time was running out and she had more to accomplish before Christmas than time to accomplish it in. This reminded me of a Christmas when I was feeling the exact same way and my sons were teenagers. I remember sitting them down and saying, “Look, there are so many things I want to do before Christmas and I don’t have enough time to do it all. So I either need you...

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