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Inside Out Personal Edition “You can't change the direction of the wind. . . . but you can adjust your sails!” ---Jimmy Dean Kim Olver, MS, NCC, LPC www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz Kim@TheRelationshipCenter.biz August 31, 2005 , Volume I, Issue 9 |
| This Month's Feature Parenting Your Teen Teleclass We cannot continue to parent our teens the way we did when they were younger children, or even the way our parents parented us. The world is different! Children are different! If we do not learn new innovations in parenting, our efforts will likely be ineffective at best, and actually destructive at their worst. Attend this teleclass series and learn about the inherent conflict between parents and their children, as well as ways to circumvent it. You can reasonably insure your child’s safety and still maintain a positive relationship. The focus will be more educational than therapeutic. Parents will learn a negotiation method that will help them work out win/win solutions with their teen in a way that’s fair and nonconfrontational...It’s just one hour a week for eight weeks to learn how to create the caring, supportive, trusting and protective relationship that you want with your adolescent. Once you learn the things you will need to know about yourself and your child in this teleclass series, you’ll realize that it isn’t so difficult, after all, to relate to your teen, still stay the parent, and keep your child safe at the same time. Being the parent of a teen doesn’t have to be burdened with frustration, conflict and worry. It can be fun, creative and relatively simple! Click Here for a full description and to register |
A Message from Kim Hi there. I want to begin this eZine with a big apology for August 25th. For some reason that I can’t explain my site was down, which meant if you went there you got the message that it was a new site and the index page needed to be replaced! Somehow, after getting that error message for about 24 hours, things miraculously fixed themselves! The biggest problem for me is that was a day for my scheduled chat. So I apologize to any of you who were online looking to speak with me. The next chat is scheduled for September 8th from 8-9 PM ET. Please join me then. September is an exciting month for The Relationship Center. We are launching our two new products---the 8-week parenting teleclass series beginning September 12th, running every Monday evening from 8:30 - 9:30 p.m. ET for the next eight weeks and our teleclass called, “Creating the Relationship You Deserve” on September 27th from 8:30-10:00 p.m. ET. Both of these products are exciting new ventures that we are looking forward to. If you know anyone who could benefit from either, please have them register at http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz/Teleclasses.php. We are keeping the class size small for individual attention and to maximize the benefits to the participants. Hope to meet you there!
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In this Issue E-Courses Book Review Relationship Q&A ************************ ************************ Relationships Click on the link below for a description of this amazing F - R - E - E teleclass. Offered the second Tuesday of every month.
September 13, 2005 9:00 p.m.
Questions About your Foster Child Could Your Child Become a Statistic?
Recognizing and Reporting Child Creating the Relationship You Deserve ************************ Coming in April 2006 Chats
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Top Ten List of What NOT to Do in Relationships by Kim Olver
The DO list was published in last month's eZine. If you did not receive that eZine and would like to view it click here. Most of us who have been intimately involved with someone beyond the infatuation stage know that relationships are like a roller coaster ride. When things are good, they are very, very good. When things are bad, they are very, very bad. As a relationship coach, I have developed Top 10 Lists---one for men and one for women on 10 things to do and not to do in relationships. MEN --DONT's.
Men and women have different communication styles, different needs and desires, and different relationship challenges. Learning these differences can assist us in strengthening the relationships we have now and in the future. John Gray began this revolutionary discovery in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. The Women’s List follows:
There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away. Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Take our f -r-e-e teleclass, Relationships the Choice Theory Way and improve your relationship now! Click here for the full article,"Top Ten List of What to Do and What Not to Do in Relationships" Copyright © August 2005 Kim Olver. All rights reserved ****************************** . ****************************** "We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." --- Sam Keen No one is perfect. I know so many people who are alone and lonely because they go through their lives looking for the perfect person to love. They will look a lifetime and still come up empty! Perfection does not exist in another person but what we can find is a person to love. This happens when we see a person for who they really are and recognize the assets and the flaws and love them anyway. When we see an imperfect person perfectly we know they are the perfect person for us and don’t want to change a thing! I wish you luck on the search for your imperfect person and the correct sight to see them perfectly. ****************************** Someone wrote in and asked what to do when a person’s partner is pulling away. I think the first thing to do is recognize that it is happening and ask your partner about it. Simply ask what they need from you. Would they prefer to talk or to have their space and then, honor whatever they say. During the time that follows, be as positive in the relationship as you are able. Generally, when someone starts to pull away it could be for a variety of reasons---it may be something to do with your relationship but it may not be related to you at all. You need to create a place where your partner can feel safe, loved, cherished, important, respected, and appreciated in spite of whatever insecurity you may be feeling. Don’t add to whatever the problem is by displaying needy behavior. This will only exacerbate the problem. Look at what you are doing and ask yourself the question, “Would I want to move closer to the person I am being right now?” If the answer is no, then change your behavior. This is not a guarantee that things will work out. There are situations where one person, for whatever reason, decides he or she needs to be out of their current relationship. If this is the case, you will survive this much better if you give up your resistance to what is. There may be something even better in store for you if you maintain a positive attitude. This is where the expression, “Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened” comes into play. Be appreciative for the time you did have and know that there is more for you on the horizon. Respect yourself! Don’t beg or otherwise attempt to coerce someone to stay in a relationship with you who has obviously decided to move on. Let be what will be and look ahead to a better day. If you need help with this, see a counselor or hire a relationship coach. ******************************
Book Review
I read this book some time ago but today seemed like a good day to dust it off and tell you all about it if you haven’t already read it. In it, Iyanla Vanzant speaks about the universal desire to find our soul mate---that one person who completes us and makes everything right in our world. She uses the metaphor of cleaning one’s house to getting our inner selves ready to receive our soul mate when they do appear in our lives. Vanzant shares her own story of meeting her soul mate at summer camp when she was just a teen. Even though their paths in life crossed several times, it wasn’t the right time for them to be together until recently---she was married, he was married and now they are finally through their own personal “meantime” and married to each other. There is nothing wrong with going through the “meantime”. It is a necessary transition to be ready to accept the love into your life that you deserve. However, the meantime is not a time to sit around and bemoan the fact that our soul mate isn’t showing up. It is a time of intense personal scrutiny to discover what we must get right within ourselves to be ready for our true love. Ms. Vanzant takes us through the steps to prepare us for that time. If you are alone or involved in a “meantime” relationship, then this book is for you. It will help you grow spiritually and show you how to gradually become your best self. It offers hope that someday your “meantime” while be over. Until then. . .enjoy the book! Click here to order this book . . .. ****************************** .. How would you like to take one of my teleclasses for f.ree? All you have to do is get two (2) people to subscribe to either of my eZines and send me their e-mail addresses for confirmation with the name of the teleclass you would like to attend. If you do not wish to attend one of the teleclasses, you can give your f.ree teleclass to a friend or family member. It’s that simple! Send either one or both of the following links to all your friends and family and ask them to subscribe to the eZine. For the personal edition of "Inside Out", go to The Relationship Center and for the business/school edition go to Coaching for Excellence and have them type their name and email address in the boxes on the right-hand side of the web page where it says, “Subscribe to Receive 'Inside Out', our Fr.ee eZine". Only two people actually have to subscribe for you to be eligible for a f.ree teleclass. Once their subscription has been confirmed you will receive an e-mail giving you the bridge line and access code for the teleclass of your choosing. A listing of teleclasses being offered can be found in both my monthly e-zine or on my classes page at either web site. There is no limit to the amount of f.ree teleclasses you can earn---you get one f.ree teleclass for every two referrals that sign up for one of my eZines. Within the next year I am planning on adding many new teleclasses on several topics including the following: . Weight Loss . Please continue to check this eZine and my website calendar for these new and exciting teleclasses. Don’t wait, take advantage of this offer and experience the new technology of teleclasses, learning and growing from home. ****************************** Kim Olver has an undergraduate degree in psychology, a graduate degree in counseling, is a National Certified Counselor and is a licensed professional counselor. Since 1987, Kim has extensively studied the work of Dr. William Glasser’s Choice Theory, Reality Therapy and Lead Management. She was certified in Reality Therapy in 1992 and continued her studies to become a certified instructor for the William Glasser Institute. She is an expert at empowering people to navigate the sometimes difficult course of life---teaching them how to get the most out of the circumstances life provides them. These are incredibly powerful ideas with equal application to one’s work and personal lives. Kim is an expert in restoring hope, finding the positive side in life’s events and helping others do the same. If you would like to get your life back on track, get closer to important people in your life, stop feeling victimized or out of control, better manage the pain and disappointment of life or reduce depression, fear, frustration and anger so you can develop greater happiness and satisfaction in your life, then Kim can help. She will provide just the right balance of challenge and support to assist you to navigate the course you choose. |
